Star Warriors, The Original Trilogy
by Sounds of Snow
Summary: Let us rejoin most of our favorite characters and some new faces in the epic journey of porportions througout episodes I, II, and III of Star Wars. It is a great feat made by me. REVIEW! Sequel to Star Warriors. T for swearing and violence.
1. Star Warriors I

**Hello people! It's me, Snowwhistle! Guess what; I'm doing an original trilogy series for Star Warriors! It is now... Star Warriors, the Original Trilogy. Enjoy as you experience your favorite characters of Warriors in 1, 2, and 3. Also, I know there are more characters, but I couldn't get enough evil/ neutral warriors cats, so stop your dumb complaining and REVIEW! Seriously, review. I want more reviews!**

Star Warriors, the Original Trilogy

Star Warriors I

The Ghostly Menace who pisses off People

Long, long ago... There was a person; this person was actually a bunch of people. These people were known by many as Jedi. Thousands existed and helped people, or... chopped their heads off, either way. So, um... there are also people who trade things. Why the hell do they trade things? I honestly don't know. Well, they stopped trade to a planet. Wait! If they trade with people, why'd they stop all of the trade, the hell? This makes no sense! Anyways, two Jedi are gonna attempt to stop this god damn plot from hurting anyone. The planet is in trouble and the Jedi are gonna be there on the double. Hooray for rhymes! So yah, this is what happened maybe roughly thirty-five years before the Empire and the Death Hairball. Yah, so this is what happened...

Part 1: We just wanted to TALK!

I rickety rocket rolled rambunctiously right through outer space. Hooray for onomatopoeia! It zoomed farther and farther into space until a brigade of super ships which looked like the Death Hairball with a string running around it. Behind it, a planet, it looked a third like a swamp, a third like a forest valley, and a third like an ocean. Yeah, an ocean... and a valley forest... and a swamp... Still, it made no freaking sense. The ship ranged closer to the brigade.

"Captain, tell them we wish to board immediately." A voice told the cat who was piloting the ship. The pilot looked at him in disgust. "Fine..." the mysterious figure replied. "Please! Tell them we wish to board immediately." The pilot nodded and pressed a button. The leader of the traders, Nute Scourge, flickered onto the screen. "We have two people who want to talk to you." The pilot told him. "Okay, but bring me a Twinkie filled with mice guts." His image flickered off the screen. The pilots crashed the ship into the space station thingy. "What the hell was that!" both of the robed cats yelled. "Hello!" the pilot responded. "We're cats! Technology! Cats and technology don't mix!"

The two robed figures walked away from the carnage and a random robot cat appeared. "I'm random cat 102 at your service." She led them to a room with a long table, chairs, and dead mice on silver platter. "We are honored by your presence; my master will be with you shortly." She left. The two figures pulled their hoods off to reveal a younger looking Lion-wan and some hairy guy called Thorn-Jinn. "You okay?" Thorn-Jinn asked. "It's nothing..." Lion-wan replied. "I just feel as if someday, we'll find a boy, he'll turn evil, destroy the Jedi, rule the universe, kill me, and his son will save us all."

"What have a told about eating twelve boxes of Twinkies?" Thorn-Jinn scolded. "Yah, I didn't listen." Lion-wan replied in an innocent manner. Meanwhile, Nute Scourge was plotting on the other side of the ship. "I'm not going near the Jedi." Scourge told them. "They have flashy claws. And all I have is a droid cat army." He told a seemingly evil hologram. "Kill them with your droid army!" the hologram told him. "Or I'll send the wrath of the Sith upon you!" "No, I'll just send some smoke to kill them and droids just to be safe." The hologram of what apparently was his master flickered and died a moment later.

Meanwhile, the ship was shot and blew up. But seriously, in one shot! How the hell is that even possible. Then dioxide, coinciding with the word _'die'_, didn't kill the Jedi... Okay, why am I making this series! A Star Wars/ Warriors' abridged series. I should really just kill everyone to end this series, but that'd be sad and degrading. The Jedi jumped out of dioxide and slashed the droids that were waiting for them. "Do they really think that crap could kill us." Said Lion-wan in total disgust, how dare they!

They began cutting the door off with their lightsaber claw. "Close two more doors!" Nute Scourge yowled. Two more doors closed, yet they were still coming through. "How the hell are they still coming through!" yelled Scourge. "In hindsight, we should've seen that one inch paper doors were dumb." One of Scourge's droid guards said. Scourge's face went blank. Then as droids with shields came, Lion-wan and Thorn-Jinn fled. They went through the air shaft and stowed away aboard ships that led to the invasion of Naboo. "Don't you think we should stick together while boarding ships?" Lion-wan asked. "After the last time we hid in a closet together, no..." Thorn-Jinn would not relive that.

Part 2: The Wet and Wild Taxi

As the droid carriers cut their way through Naboo, Thorn-Jinn ran from them, yet the strangest thing happened. Some asshole grabbed him and dragged him to the ground and the droid carriers ran over him. Thankfully he sank low enough to the ground no to be crushed. "What was that asshole!" yelled Thorn-Jinn. "Well, I wasn't trying to rape you..." the creature replied. "I'm Long-Long." "I didn't ask your name..." Thorn-Jinn said backing away. All of the sudden Lion-wan walked toward them. "Let me guess; gay person grabbed you?" "Yep," replied Thorn-Jinn.

Oddly enough, even though Long-Long had been probably pwned about four times, he led his new friends to safety in his underwater home. Well, atleast, the home he was banished from. As they walked along, a guard stopped them. "The hell you doing back!" he asked Long-long. "I um... uh... don't hit me in the groin." The guard hit him in the groin anyway. "I told you for the last damn time; you should never ever come back!" He then kicked him in the groin anyways. "It's a wonder this place exists." Thorn-Jinn said. "Looks mostly like a place for gays and lesbians."

They met the leader of the tribe of cat like Gun-Gans. What the hell kind of species is that. "We need the help the Naboo." Lion-wan told the Boss. "No!" he replied. "The Naboo cats suck!" "Do you even have a reason for hating them?" asked Lion-wan. "Nope," the Boss replied. "They just suck. I know because I'm that good." Thorn-Jinn's claw glowed and extended. He pointed it at the boss and said this. "Give us your submarine/ taxi!" "Okay, it's over there." He said pointing at a yellow submarine. Thorn-Jinn, Lion-wan, and Long-Long got into the taxi sub and headed for the city; on the surface.

The taxi dived into the watery depths and went deeper and deeper and deeper. "Where are we?" asked Lion-wan. "Well..." Long-Long told them. "We have approximately reached the core." "What?" cried Thorn-Jinn in revolt, "Are you freaking serious! There's no way the core is made of water!" "Well, this is a Star Wars/ Warriors' crossover," Lion-wan told him. Thorn-Jinn became absolutely furious at that comment. "Well then this writer, Snowwhistle, is a big load sh*t!"

...

I looked at my computer. "Okay, I was going to cut out the monster scene," I said. "But you know what, it really doesn't matter anymore. If he has time to call me a load of sh*t then why not, he can dodge a million sea monsters if he wants, in fact, it'll be a billion now, no a trillion; and swear at my name as much as he wants; I bet he'll like that." I began to tediously type the part of the scene where they were chased by monsters which I was originally not going to add.

...

"You had to piss off Snowwhistle!" yelled Long-Long to Thorn-Jinn as he steered the ship to safety, hopefully. They dodged giant electric eels; he swerved through pods of whales; they crossed swarms of giant flounder; they even fled from a giant squid. "Personally, I don't why Snow keeps making fun of himself in this story and the first one, Star Warriors." Lion-wan said. "He does it when he runs out of jokes," replied Thorn-Jinn. A shark then swam after their underwater submarine taxi. "Okay, I should've seen that coming."

Part 3: The Invasion of a Planet with no Economy

The droid cat army stretched for miles as it entered the city. The city's population if you count droids went from twenty thousand two hundred ten to one million forty six thousand twenty seven. It was just like a terrorist attack, without the twin towers, killing, 9-11 and crazy misuse of the song 'Surfin' Bird.' (Just for the record, Surfin' Bird is my favorite song.) So basically, it was nothing like a terrorist attack. More like a hostile takeover. People do it all the time in the business world, except without the guns. So, I guess it's no completely like a hostile takeover. So um... yah, I have no idea what it was like. You can guess.

A frightened and sad queen stared out her window. Her name was Queen Feather Admadala or Adimadala or Admadila or something which no one seems to no how to spell. Now I remember it was Amidala. But it's still a suckish name, because I had to look it up, damn it. Anyways, she stared out the window in dismay. Fear stricken. "I can't be captured," she told herself in a creepy way. "I need to escape." She quickly fetched her best hand maiden and swapped clothes with her. Now Feather was hidden from the Trader people. Well, she'd still be captured, but she'd not have to have her head chopped off.

The droids came and captured her. Scourge walked with her, the droids, her hand maiden, and couple other people. "How you gonna explain to the Senate why you unleashed hell on my planet?" asked the decoy queen. "I need you to sign a treaty to make it legal," said Nute Scourge. "I know the Senate will find it legal despite the fact we're securing an entire planet." "I won't!" the decoy queen yowled. "Now, now; you're upset, but you're people suffering will persuade you." "I honestly don't give a damn," the decoy queen told Scourge. More cat droids came and took them away.

They were walking through the streets, when two Jedi and some gay asshole jumped off a bridge and cut the droids in half. "Nice timing," said Feather. But since everyone thought she was a hand maiden, they ignored her. "We're here to rescue you," said Thorn-Jinn. "Yah, what he said." Lion-wan replied. "Uh... we kind off need to escape here." The decoy queen told them. She led them to a hanger where there were a bunch of pilots guarded by three droids next to twenty ships. (Okay wait a second... there's twenty pilots, twenty ships, and three droids. Okay, why didn't they run? At worst, three to six die. But come on! What the hell is there problem?)

Thorn-Jinn and Lion-wan cut up the droids and Lion-wan yelled to the pilots, "Run!" Nineteen ran out the door into the droid infested city and one ran into the ship the main characters were leaving on. (Were all but one of those cat pilots retarded or something? You know what, just forget. It isn't worth getting worked up over.) They all blasted off and dodged most shots. But one hit the shield generator. Luckily Gray2-D2 managed to fix it by somehow hanging onto the ship in space, when one shot almost hit him, he yelled; "What the hell! I'm tried to be a good repair cat droid, so knock it off!"

When he came back into the ship, he was praised with treats and goodies made of mice and birds then he said, "Thanks, but I can't eat damn it! You all have to rub it in my face!" "Yes," Feather said. "Yes we do." "Then can I eat them?" asked Long-Long. Gray2-D2 sighed. "Knock yourself out." Long-Long then punched his self into unconsciousness. Lion-wan plotted a course for Tatooine then. "But I don't wanna!" yelled Feather. "I'd much rather go back to Naboo! It feels like the Warriors' world there!" They ignored her and continued on.

Part 4: A Very Weird

The ship zoomed down into the sandstorm infested planet. How anyone could live there was beyond me. It was an endless desert with and exception of two or three dying or dead trees every now and then. I mean, who the hell would live there besides villains. You'd probably kill yourself if you're forced to have to live on that planet. Anyways, as the ship landed, Thorn-Jinn, Long-Long, and Gray2-D2 exited the ship onto the planet. "Wait!" yelled Feather. "I wanna come! Pretty please! PLEASE! PLEASE, please, please, please, please, ple..." "If you shut up you can come!" replied Thorn-Jinn. "Hooray!" The four scurried out toward the town.

"Well, this is a sad looking gang town." Gray2-D2 said as he stared at the awful scene. "I bet this place ain't too pretty in the rainy season either." "Actually this planet has rain once every four hundred years for ten minutes," responded Long-Long. "Then why the hell do people live here?" Gray2-D2 shouted. Long-Long looked around. "I like it," he said. "It's just like a litter box." "Hey loser," said Feather. We're warriors, we don't use litter boxes you asshole." "Well," he yelled back. "Now I know I can go in public..." The crowd turned to him. "Wait, I said that wrong." People just backed away from him. He sighed and the group continued.

They came upon a small shop. They walked inside and a flying cat stood there. "I am Sandstorm, the ugly blue flying wormlike cat who hates how she gets all of the parts related to worms!" "Well why don't you shut up!" yelled a voice. "So what yah want," she asked. "A new engine," replied Thorn-Jinn. "And a mouse filled Twinkie." While Sandstorm who I keep giving worm parts to showed Thorn-Jinn the parts, a nine year old kit walked out. "Hi, you're a she-cat, right?" he said. "I'm Hawkakin Skywalker, slave, and robot maker person." "Hi," she replied. "I'm Feather, bye." The group left the shop because Sandstorm was being an ass about prices, and let me tell you, they could've afforded the engine, but the mice filled Twinkies were $3,000,000.98.

As they were walking away, a thug named Brokenstar the Loser (; yes, I gave him that name;" began beating up Long-Long because he was gay. "Hey!" yelled Hawkakin, as he ran up to him. "That's mean, what if he beat you up for not being gay." Brokenstar the Loser walked away silently. Long-Long then thanked Hawkakin. But then out of nowhere came a sandstorm. "This is the most unexpected sandstorm ever," said Thorn-Jinn. "Let's stay at the little boy's place so I can rape him, cat style," said Feather. Gray2-D2 stared at her. "I am gonna be so glad when you're dead. I liked the first story, 'Star Warriors,' better."

They took shelter in the little boy's home. Hawkakin showed them all his new droid, C3Fire0. As he activated him, it became clear; he'd be an ass, and a main character. "Hello, uh... what is my purpose in this first episode again?" "Absolutely nothing," replied Gray2-D2. "You aren't even considered a main character until Episode II." "Damn!" they were served dinner that night and told of their desperate need for money. Hawkakin told of a race where he could win them money. The next day they entered, and Thorn-Jinn not only bet their ship and the boy's freedom, but a mouse filled Twinkie. Yah...

_I know I probably just used up one paragraph and it probably should've been three, but hey, you try writing enough to fill ten pages but so little that it doesn't go over ten parts! Yah, why don't you try? Oh that's right; you all are either non-membership people, or your too lazy! I do not really think that; you all rock; except for Charlie. I hate you Charlie._

Part 5: The Race

"HSJOIKMC JVWJM JJCKWO!" cried Sandstorm the Hutt. But everyone knew she meant, 'Let the race begin!' (Yah, I know, Sandstorm has two parts, she plays all worm characters, so let it go.) –Now, I hate the fact I have to write this scene, so it will be replaced by continuous **SCORE BOARD UPDATES!**

Lap 1:

1st: Brokenstar the Loser  
2nd: Jojo, the magic monker  
3rd: Bob  
4th: Hawkakin  
5th: Your Mom  
6th: Fred Figglehorn

Lap 2:

1st: Brokenstar the Loser  
2nd: Bob  
3rd: Hawkakin  
4th: Jojo, the magic monkey (killed Your Mom)  
5th: Fred Figglehorn  
Dead: Your Mom

Lap 3:

1st: Gryffindor  
2nd: Hufflepuff  
3rd: RavenClaw  
4th: Slytherin (assholes)

What the hell! This fanfiction has nothing to do with Harry Potter!

Real Lap 3:

1st: Hawkakin  
2nd: Brokenstar the Loser  
Dead: Pretty much everyone.

Very anticlimactic, kind of expected; not really needed...

Part 6: The really short part...

Thorn-Jinn had gotten Hawkakin and he and Hawkakin were running toward the ship when a mysterious grey cay with black tattoos all over his body, (I don't know why?) jumped off a speeder and went into a claw-saber battle with Thorn-Jinn. Pretty obvious that it's Breeze Maul, but who cares? They slashed and bashed a little bit, but Thorn-Jinn managed to jump on the ship somehow.

"That was the whole chapter?" asked Lion-wan Kenobi. "That was a waste of the computers energy!" "Actually," responded Hawkakin. "The Podracing things took up way too many pages on word so he shorted this part to save pages and keep it at length." The ship flew away. (Yeah, what Hawkakin said was true.) The ship blew towards Coruscant, the last planet ever to have grown Bongo Trees.

Yah, so Long-Long was trying to be gay, Feather was off trying to have sex with all the toms, Hawkakin was bored and now was regretting to ever decide to come, Thorn-Jinn was beating up the pilot, the pilot was shout out words he shouldn't have, the fake queen was enjoying being the fake queen while she could, Lion-wan was helping me think of warriors references, and I was typing up what everyone was doing. Wow, that's a mouthful...

Part 7: Global Warming and Deforestation Awareness

Hawkakin looked at the pathetic planet down below. It was covered in miles and miles of cities. "What happened here?" asked Hawkakin. "Deforestation," replied Feather. "The whole planet is now a giant city." By the way, Tatooine and Coruscant used to be full of life and forests, but deforestation took over Coruscant and Tatooine is an effect of global warming. Just a message out to you all; if you're in a gang where it's cool to cut down trees or start shooting atom bombs into the atmosphere, it's not. Don't believe that being in one of those kinds of gangs will make you cool. It won't...

Hawkakin was sent to the Jedi temple. There he met cats like Master Crowda, Mace Jay, Kit Lionblaze, and Shak-Holly. They gave Hawkakin tests and trials to see if he could become a Jedi cat. Hawkakin passed with flying colors. "Do I get to be a Jedi cat?" he asked with anticipation. "No." Crowda told him. "You're too old." Mace Jay told him. "If you were three, we'd be happy to take you in," comforted Shak-Holly. "But you're not so..." Kit Lionblaze apologized in an uncaring manor. "Do I get any maple syrup?" asked Hawkakin. "I'll need it when I become Hawk V... I just gave away the half plot of the first story."

Feather was mad that people had invaded her home, almost three times had she tried to tell that she was the queen, but she couldn't. That would expose her and everything else would fall in ashes. Thorn-Jinn pleaded for Hawkakin to be trained, but the council said no again. Apparently he was too old... I mean, what kind of rule is that? You can't be trained because you're nine, even though you have a hell load of potential, I think you shouldn't be a Jedi because you're nine? What kind of rule is that? I mean its bull crap! They almost destroyed the plot of series; thankfully, the council finally agreed to have him trained.

The fake queen finally decided to flee back to Naboo so she could retake the planet even though they only had like twenty people. It was just crazy enough to work. She told Feather, the actual queen, her plan and she let her. They gathered the supplies they'd need, one claw gun... Yah, they're that idiotic; pretty pathetic. In the end, they had loaded the ships and were about to take off. Then, 'Chancellor Tigerstar' ran out. "Don't do it!" he yelled. The ship had left though. "Yes..." He told himself. "My thirty five year plan has begun!"

They flew near the planet and prepared for what might be the last battle of their lives. "How'd you let them train me?" asked Hawkakin to Thorn-Jinn. ~ Thorn-Jinn ran into council room. "If you train Hawkakin, I'll give you a fish filled Klondike bar! ~ "Um..." Thorn-Jinn stuttered. "I offered to replant a forest on Coruscant." "That's nice," replied Hawkakin replied. "It's feel so much more like out kick ass Warriors' World."

Part 8: Let's Invade Naboo and shoot some stuff

Somehow within an hour; they retrieved thirty more recruits, established a treaty for the Gun-gans to help them, watched X-men on DVD, read the latest three warriors books, came up with a kick ass plan, and invented the wheel. For some reason, that is the one thing the futuristic cats haven't created. Feather explained the plan. "The guards, Jedi, and us will go into the castle and ambush Scourge. The pilots will fly up and knock out the communication tower in space. The Gun-gans will distract most of the battle droid cats, and Hawkakin will hide in some hole. Any question. No? Then go!"

The Gun-gans ran to their stations and waved their arms around like crazy trying to get the droids attention, and then shot... water balls? I know they live underwater and they're fighting robots, but seriously, water balls. The droids have a million strong and guns. The Gun-gans have maybe a thousand and ten thousand water balls. Judging by if a third of them miss, they maybe destroy six thousand six hundred and sixty six droids out a million. And the guns have unlimited fire power. Plus with Long-Long leading them... I'm not even gonna show the battle, it's now even worth it. You'll just see a babyish scene which makes Blues Clues look violent.

Okay, so the other people in the Castle get captured and are lead right to Scourge where the hidden gun stash is... Okay, everything in Star Wars is anticlimactic! You can guess what's going to happen, and eighty percent of the time, you'll be right. Okay then, in the end up capturing Nute Scourge. And he says, "Crap!" That's pretty much all there is to it. So Hawkakin accidentally gets shot into space in a fighter ship and he destroys the communication ship which shuts off the droids and ends up saving the Gun-gans asses. I'm not going any farther.

This part wasn't even worth it; I'm going to the good part. The fight between Breeze Maul and Thorn-Jinn & Lion-wan.

Part 9: A Sith?

Thorn-Jinn and Lion-wan saw a door open. It was Breeze Maul. The first Sith seen since 1837 when Winnie the Pooh was killed. Breeze Maul Had two claws. It was very unfair. But hey, Thorn-Jinn and Lion-wan each had one so it was kind of fair. They all ignited their claw-sabers and brawled. They slashed and attacked and fought and did uppercuts and sky attacks. Oh the possibilities were endless. They did sword power slashes and, I'm gonna stop that because it probably annoys all of you people. Yah I kind of figured that. So let us move on to part 10, wait, this part isn't over yet.

Breeze Maul began to run away. "Hey, I guess Breeze Maul is a loser because he runs away from danger!" Yowled Lion-wan at the tattooed foe. "We'll never make it," said Lion-wan as he watched Breeze Maul hop the inch long hole in the ground. "What?" Thorn Jin replied. "It's barely an inch long." "I know," Lion-wan said in return. "But it must be really deep. "Oh my god..." Thorn-Jinn stepped over it. "See, that easy." Lion-wan quivered and stepped over it. He then did the extremely crazy 'we did it' dance from 'Dora the Explora.'

Breeze Maul then cornered Thorn-Jinn in a... well... corner. He then stabbed Thorn-Jinn Twenty times in the stomach. "Okay, this is weird," said Thorn-Jinn. "I don't feel any... nope... here comes the pain." He fell to the ground and died. Lion-wan felt sad and angry and charged at Breeze Maul, only to fall off the side. "Ha!" yelled Breeze. "Epic fail, dude." "For only one line," said Lion-wan. "It sucks." Lion-wan then cut Breeze Maul's legs off. He died and fell into the crematorium pit and his body burned. Who puts a crematorium pit in a Castle? I should sue the cat who designed it. Little kids play there!

"Avenge me!" yelled Thorn-Jinn. "Can you die already?" asked Lion-wan, so Thorn-Jinn did. Lion-wan jumped up for joy, "Now I'm a Jedi master!"

Part 10: Long-Long isn't dead...

That night, Thorn-Jinn's body was burned at the funeral for two. "Why are we burning Long-Long alive?" asked Feather, who'd unveiled herself and retaken her place as Queen. "Because, we really don't want to see him Episode II," replied Lion-wan. "What the f*ck!" Long-Long called as he was smothered in oil and gasoline and burned alive. Really, what did it accomplish? Oh yeah, I hate Longtail/ Jar-Jar. Win – win I guess. That's pretty sweet.

"So?" asked Crowda. "Who do you think the real evil is?" "I think its Tigerstar." Mace Jay replied. "Nah," replied Crowda. "It can't be him. He's good!" Chancellor Tigerstar walked into the scene carrying a sign that said, 'Me is good.' "Hey guys!" He yelled. "I-am-the-awesome-cat-who-will-take-over-the-world-and-rule-the-universe-and-Hawkakin-will-turn-evil says what!" "What?" all of the cats called back.

What will happen? Find out in the next episode.

Credits

Cast:

(Actor – Character)

Thornclaw – Qui-Gon Jinn

Firestar – C3P0

Graystripe – R2-D2

Crowfeather – Crowda

Lionblaze – Kit Fisto

Hollyleaf – Shak-ti

Jayfeather – Mace Windu

Longtail – Jar-Jar

Feathertail – Padme Amidala

Lionheart – Obi-wan Kenobi

Hawkfrost – Anakin Skywalker

Sandstorm – Jabba the Hutt and Watto

Breezepelt – Darth Maul

Tigerstar – Chancellor Palpatine/ Darth Sidious

Brokenstar – Sebulba

Scourge – Viceroy Nute Gunray

Storm troopers and Rebels and Random People – Kittypets, Rouges, and Clan cats

Director – Snowwhistle

Writer – Snowwhistle

Concept – Snowwhistle

Special thanks to everyone who reads this and Warriors Cats'

In July... an all new addition to the saga... Star Warriors II! When the Copy Cat Kill! Get Ready! New characters... Old characters... Characters from the first story... Other unimportant people... I mean um... cats! Yeah... cats... Coming in July! Sneak Preview ~ Lion-wan and Hawkakin exited the elevator. "Isn't this the part where Long-Long hugs me?" "We incinerated him, remember?" Lion-wan reminded him. "Oh..." Hawkakin said out loud. Then Feather approached them. "Lion-wan!" she exclaimed. "Remember me?" Hawkakin asked her. "Oh sorry," she replied. "Hi Long-Long!" Hawkakin went back to his usual sulking. ~ Coming soon to a computer on this story near you!


	2. Star Warriors II

**Hello people! Sorry for the wait, but I was working on my other story; Warriors of light. Time for the disclaimers; I do not own Warriors' it belongs to Erin Hunter. I also have no ownership of Star Wars. That belongs to George Lucas. I also don't own my sister's diary, but I took it anyways. (No, I didn't take my sister's diary. She doesn't even own one. It just seemed like the right moment to use the joke.) P.S. I will do three chapters of Warriors of Light, for every one chapter of these. P.S.S. This story is rated T, but you already know that. P.S.S.S. There is a banana on a monkey ladder doing the jig. P.S.S.S.S. This has sexual humor. P.S.S.S.S.S. What's the word? P.S.S.S.S.S.S. Review! And I like candy.**

Star Warriors, the Original Trilogy

Star Warriors II

When the Copycats Kill

We all remember how Lion-wan and Thorn-Jinn did all that cool crap in the last episode. That was pretty cool. Now get ready to witness an all new edition to the Warriors, Star Trek abridged series... I mean. Um... Warriors, Star Wars abridged series. I mean... I could never imagine warriors reenacting Star Trek. Mostly, I just haven't seen the movie. So now a flying ship is heading for Coruscant, but Senator Feathertail is disguised. That's right; she was dethroned from queen for smoking marijuana. So anyway, now she is a senator and it's ten years later and we're gonna have fun writing this and I'm just wasting your time by making the opening monologue so long because it takes of space without me even doing effort. So anyways; um... Why the hell can't she just fly without a disguise? Who cares; Louie, roll the tape...

Part 1: The (Ass-ass)-in Jerk Whom Murders

The ship landed and Feather came out in an unconvincing pilot costume on a smaller ship. Then all of a sudden, an arrow came and hit the fence. "Oh no..." said a monotone extra. "It's an ambush..." "How the hell is one arrow 'en amb...?" Feather never finished as a giant space laser blew up the royal Naboo cruiser. "Okay..." Feather said. "That's an ambush." "Is everyone okay? I think we got off luck..." All of the sudden he was shot. Everyone just stared at the limp body. Finally someone stepped up and said, "Son of a shi..."

The Next Day...

"Master Crowda," said Chancellor Tigerstar. "Have you heard?" "Yes," replied Crowda. "I've heard of Senator Feather's attempted assassination." "No," Tigerstar spoke back. "A well everybody's heard about the bird! A well a, well a, well a, well a, bird, bird, bird! Bird, birds... the word. A well a bird, bird, bird! Bird, birds... the word. Well now don't you know about the bird, well Tiger's gonna tell yah about the bird. A well a bird, bird, bird! Bird, birds... the word. A well a bird... Surfin'... HUVNHUQ-NNASJDJDJMK-MFKMJJMGJM-JJFJJF! A bop-a, ooma mow, mow, bop-a, oo-mow, ma, mow! Bop-a, ooma mow, mow, bop-a, oo-mow, mow, mow!" Crowda was speechless. He quietly began to back away.

Some Time after...

Master Lion-wan Kenobi and Hawkakin Skywalker had been assigned an important task. To guard Feather. It had been ten years since they'd seen her. "You're in love with her," Lion wan said to Hawkakin. "Am not!" whined Hawkakin. Lion-wan and Hawkakin exited the elevator. "Isn't this the part where Long-Long hugs me?" "We incinerated him, remember?" Lion-wan reminded him. "Oh..." Hawkakin said out loud. Then Feather approached them. "Lion-wan!" she exclaimed. "Remember me?" Hawkakin asked her. "Oh sorry," she replied. "Hi Long-Long!" Hawkakin went back to his usual sulking.

Later that night...

Someone had shot a poison pellet out toward Feather's room. Luckily Hawkakin saved her. A crazy chase scene emerged as they went into a high flying speeder chase through the crowded airways of Coruscant. It was dangerous and crazy. What made it even worse was it was a she they were chasing. That she was Zam Mistyfoot. Yah, I just had to make a good cat a bounty hunter. They chased Mistyfoot far and wide into a pub. There people were getting drunk and stuff. Lion-wan cut off her arm and interrogated her. "I working for a bounty hunter called..." she was shot by a near by guy and died.

Lion-wan had been given the task of finding this bounty hunter and Hawkakin had to guard the Senator. This was going to be a very long story... (Well, it will be. Why are you people even reading this crap? You should be reading the rest of story. So go read it you f_ing cruel _holes of _it. – I do not think of you guys like that. It was a joke. You guys encourage me to write my crap. So don't hate me. –

Part 2: Naboo... Let's have Cat Sex

So Hawkakin put on a condom... I mean... took Feather to Naboo and they were in a 'bored' room. "So, if Whiskers has four apples, and Milky had two apples and the sea monkey had none; who was the burglar?" asked Hawkakin trying to actually enjoy the boring and extremely long seven day flight to Naboo. "Let me guess," said a careless Feather. "Scooby Doo?" "Yes!" responded Hawkakin. "Because Scooby Doo is an ass, plus he's a dog and who the hell in the name of StarClan cares about dogs. And that makes sense, because we're cats! So guess what? I might actually turn evil... And blah, blah, boring crap; blah, blah, bad pun..."

Feather swore she was about to die when they arrived on Naboo. "Okay..." she said. "Now you have to listen to my life story. You see, I grew up in a village. It was small... Well, it was half the size of Coruscant, but it was small. In fact, it was this very city in which Nute Scourge tried to take over. Well, it doesn't look big. But it goes deep... underground. So anyways; I had this mate/ boyfriend/ tom friend and he was like... and I was like... so oh; no he didn't... or yes he did... yammer, yammer, yammer... yammer, taco, yammer... queen, yammer, yammer..." Just like Feather, Hawkakin pretty much zoned out of what she was saying.

Finally they'd reached the capital. It was just the same as before. "Couldn't we have just picked Malibu of Four Trees for a hide out?" asked Hawkakin. "One," replied Feather. "Four Trees was destroyed. And we already used that joke in the last story." "Snowwhistle ran out of ideas..." Hawkakin replied. "That joke was used to..." Feather said in turn. "Okay, two; Malibu was booked. But I do know a place called the Warriors' cat sex beach, pretty freaking awesome hotel made of trees where no cat has left without having sex!" "Sounds like Malibu," Hawkakin suggested.

Then they went to the Warriors' cat sex beach, pretty freaking awesome hotel made of trees where no cat has left without having sex! Honestly, in this part, nothing happens. So I'm gonna have to make something up. I know what you're saying. 'But they get into a fight and crap!' Well you know what? That scene wasn't even worth adding to the movie. It added a completely obvious plot to something we already know and added it into a pathetically unimportant scene. I knew that! And I was freaking four when the movie came out! Scene cut out! Case closed...

Okay, so in this new scene, they are drinking blended mouse guts by the poolside. They are having martini and mouse cocktails with roasted duck filet with herbal roasted herbs on a side platter; extra onions. So yah, they were sitting by the poolside, enjoying their fancy meal, when some rich ass loner jumps in the pool and gets water on them. Hawkakin then says, "The hell? You got me and my sweet ass girlfriend wet you crazy bitch. You come back here! I'm gonna Jedi style your face in four ways you god forsaken mange ridden flea bag of a cat!" The loner started running at top speed with Hawkakin chasing after him; leaving a satisfied Feather.

"Wait a second!" Gray2-D2 yowled. "I had no screen time except for this. Why the hell was th...?" The screen went black and silent.

-I know it wasn't in the actual movie, but hey... it added comedy and that is the whole point of this story, isn't it? Well anyways, you guys better read the next part now... (Surprisingly, they made it out without having sex. I know that's what you people probably wanted with the extra scene. Well... too bad.)-

Part 3: A City on Water  
(w/ the copy cats.)

Lion-wan flew on his magic flying ship to the magic land which was somehow floating on an ocean planet where it always rained. Pretty damn scary, that's why the city was built on stilts. Well, one building collapsed, but... oh well. Those who were lost were lost... no big deal. Anyways, Lion-wan made a heroic landing as he landed. But he sat in his ship for the longest time. His counter-part droid who was an astro-mecat like Gray2-D2-s name was One2-D2. He was red, but for some reason, has less and attitude. "Will you please get out already." Half commanded, half asked One2-D2. "But I'll get wet!" cried Lion-wan.

"You're worse than Charlie Brown!" One2-D2 shouted. "Will you ever shut up about water? Seriously, this is the best Warriors' reference you and Snowwhistle could come up with?" A giant rock fell from the sky and into the water. Eventually, Lion-wan decided to run into the nice dry room at hyper speed because he's to much an ass to get a little wet. So he wore a rain slick, and carried one hundred waterproof umbrellas over him. Yah... He actually needed that many umbrellas and a rain slick. He's just that much of a pussy. I like making fun of two characters at the same time!

Lion-wan was already perfectly dry, but stood under an air duct naked (, no, he did not shave his fur, and yes, I'm making cats wear clothes,) for two hours anyway. At that time, a strange white cat called Daisy came walking down the halls. "Why are you sitting naked under an air duct?" she asked Lion-wan. "Oh..." he said. "I'm drying off." "But you're perfectly dry..." Daisy replied with a shudder. "Just... Put some clothes on and I'll give you the tour. By the way... you don't act this weird in the original story, Star Warriors." "Well," replied Lion-wan. "In the first story, I'm an old man..." That kind of explains a lot.

Daisy directed Lion-wan through her humble halls of the magic city on water. "You'll be happy to know of our progress with your Republic Army of Copycats." "Who... the hell... cares...!" said Lion-wan in a disgusted tone. Ignoring the comment, she showed him to a spot where millions upon millions of Copycat soldiers were lined up with claw guns and giant painful weapons and other miscellaneous objects which were given at high value and dangerous rates which made them perfect for dangerous mortal combat... **TO THE MAX!**

"This better not be at the end of every sentence," said Lion-wan. **TO THE MAX! **"Stop it!" **¡Al máximo! Estilo español... **"Please! It's pissing me off!" **À max! Style français... **"Stop it now!" **Dem Max! Deutscher Stil... **"I can understand everything you're saying! Even in GERMAN! Knock it off!" **Til max! Íslenska stíl... **"No one even speaks Icelandic!" **Yes they do! **"You are the most annoying writer/ user ever!" **"Says the cat that stands naked under an air duct for two hours... And is still naked! **"Ah... Touché." "Seriously!" said Daisy, trying not to look at him. "He's right... Put some clothes on..."

Lion-wan did as requested and asked her a question. "Who ordered this army?" "Some guy named Rest-Tigar. I think it's scrambled... But then I though... Nah..." "And you call me weird..." said Lion-wan in a half whisper. "You're the one who walked around with no clothes." Pointed out Daisy in disgust. "Touché," agreed Lion-wan. "Agreed," called One2-D2, the Gray2-D2 counterpart droid. Speaking of Gray2-D2, let's rejoin Gray2-D2, Feather, and Hawkakin on Tatooine!

As Lion-wan left, from the window stood two figures. "Dad," said the small cat. "What're we gonna do about the Jedi?" "I don't know Darka," replied the obvious father. "But we'll have to kill him, or my name isn't Bone Fett."

Part 4: I Have a Mom?

"Wait, wait; wait!" Hawkakin proclaimed. "How the hell did we get here?" he asked. He scooped up some sand and through. "Beep bop, it the author's choice..." commented Gray2-D2. "I mean... It'd be nice if he atleast explained our untimely appearance here." "Stop over explaining things," Feather grunted. "That's C3Fire0's job and we have enough of him pissing us off every damn second. I think by my senses, he'll be returning as a main character right about... now." "Master Hawkakin," called C3Fire0 as he walked out of the house. "Yah..." Feather mumbled. "Shocker..."

(Once again this proves, you can guess what's going to happen in Star Wars, and almost always be right.)

Hawkakin walked inside the house along with Feather, Gray2-D2, and C3Fire0. There he met someone who was apparently his step dad, because he never had a regular dad, (how the hell was he born then?) and a step brother, Smudge, who was married so he had a step, step sister, Bluestar, too! Lots a' steps... kind of like the Eiffel Tower... or the Burge Dubai... yah... "Where's mom?" asked Hawkakin. "She was kidnapped by Turkish Sabotagers... We don't where she is..." replied his step dad. "I have to save her!" Hawkakin yelled. "But I need a weapon that isn't a sword claw, light saber thingy!" Hawkakin walked into the tall grass.

A wild Mew appeared. "Holy sh*t; a wild Mew; game glitches rule!"

Hawkakin threw a pokeball.

-Beep, Beep, Beep, Click...-

Congratulations! You caught a Mew... "Hell yeah, I caught it!" Mew's data was added the Pokedex.

Mew  
A rare pokemon, so rare, one in every seventeen million D.S.'s have one.  
_Stats-  
_**Level **–  
0.1  
**Attacks** –  
_Splash:_ Does absolutely nothing.  
_Nothing:_ A move that does nothing.  
_Move that Should Work, but doesn't:_ A move that should work, but doesn't.  
**Exp** –  
-3 out of 10920939694905009969969456...

"Are you f*cking serious!" cried Hawkakin in shear rage. "I got the rarest pokemon in the whole bitched up game; and it sucks worse than a television Soap Opera!" "Feel the irony emitting from this room right now..." said Gray2-D2. Hawkakin got angry and went to save his mother anyways. About an hour later he came back cut up with bruises and an empty Pokeball. "Oh my god!" yelled Feather as she rushed to his side. "What happened?"

"It's a long and odd story, so I'll start from the beginning," began Hawkakin. "I was walking down the road when I saw a hooker, beat her up, stole her money, and continued walking. I got to the Turkish Sabotagers' camp, and asked to pay them ransom for my mom, my mom came out of a tent and said, 'screw you,' and ordered them to attack me. One of them rapidly punched me in the head, while another kicked me in the groin several times. Then I fell in pain, and one stabbed me in the back. I ran as hard as I could, then I got beat up by the same hooker on the way back here and she stole my Mew to sell it on the black market, and here we are now." Feather stood there speechless.

Part 5: Who, What, Where, When, Why?

Lion-wan flew to Geonosis and found a hidden door with a sign that said 'This is not a secret battle droid cat factory that produces army droids and a weed/ catnip transfusion.' "Well," assumed Lion-wan. "I guess its okay to go in. There's probably no stash of weed or endless droid army with Geonosians in there." Lion-wan walked in he saw millions and millions of robot cats being produced, but even better, a pile of weed/ catnip plants! Lion-wan lunged into the pile and stuffed as much as he could in his mouth. "Oh..." he said in a happy tone. "I'm so high..."

Paying no attention to Lion-wan as he got high; White Dooku, Nute Scourge, and some cat in a chicken suit, walked past him. "Shouldn't we do something about him?" asked Nute Scourge. "Why?" replied White Dooku. "He's obviously high so he won't understand anything we say and anything we do will look blurry." They walked into a room to sit down and talk. Nute Scourge was eating his salmon filet mignon, White Dooku was drinking an herbal Warriors' tea, and the cat in the chicken suit was eating himself. They all seemed bored, and then finally started the meeting.

Okay... First off... Who the hell is White Dooku and how'd he get there. That's one of the things of which wasn't not answered for the first fifteen minutes of Star Wars. Then they all of the sudden say he owns a droid army like Nute Scourge. Okay... This is probably the most uncalled for scene in all of Star Wars history. They don't give Dooku a background for like, twenty minutes... They don't explain how Dooku has a droid army like the Nute guy...! They don't explain any damn thing in this whole damn scene that only adds confusion to the saga! It's just unneeded confusion which makes me want to scream! But it's kind of funny so I wrote it anyways.

"So..." White Dooku began. "I have an idea. How's 'bout we combine our two droid styles to form one super cool droid which will own the Jedi cat forces!" "Sure..." replied Nute Scourge in a bored voice. "But can we kill Senator Feather Amidala. I needs to gets my revenge on hers for doings that to me." "Why'd you over use that ending letter s there?" questioned White Dooku. "I don't knows what you'res talkings abouts." Scourge replied. "Yah..." White said in a low voice. "I'll just... you know... Run away... in terror... right now... ah!" As White Dooku ran off, Nute Scourge called, "Okays then. Good byes!" Scourge looked to the side to see the cat in the chicken costume gone!

Part 6: That could've gone better

_~ "Jedi Council..." Lion-wan called out. "It has come to my attention that I am a person who likes weed and catnip transfusion plants. But that's not the point. When I finally recovered from being high and loopy, I overheard plans to build a combined robotic battle droid cat of White Dooku and Nute Scourges design. I have also learned that this will take place on my planet I am on right now of Geonosis and... Oh god... Oh god, NO...! Stay away!" A droid with a shield appeared and was ready to shoot Lion-wan. ~_ The message flickered and died as Feather and Hawkakin watched in horror.

"We have to save him!" cried Feather. "Of course we do..." C3Fire0 mumbled. "I can already tell we're fail at this and get captured." Hawkakin looked back at him coldly. "You do know we all think you're an ass." "You're an ass as Hawk Vader in the first story, so shut up!" replied C3Fire0. The ship blasted off and headed for the extremely dry planet of Geonosis. Although it wasn't as dry as Tatooine or the Sahara or Kansas, it was still pretty damn dry with little to no water. Any who, they flew down into the deep and dark and depressing abyss with a door at the bottom, let me now explain how each of there tales went.

_**Hawkakin**_

Hawkakin accidentally got caught onto a conveyor belt where his arm was trapped under some really heavy metal. "Damn it!" he yelled as he struggled to free his left arm. "How the hell in metal this damn heavy!" he howled. He saw noticed lots of slicing knifes up ahead. "What kind of factory is this!" yelled Skywalker. "A factory which got a very low standard in safety, only being rated 0.00000000000000000000001 in 1000000." A random cat replied that was only here to explain stuff. Hawkakin was almost sliced, but he survived. Sadly the tip of his claw saber was cut off. "Damn," h said. "Claws take weeks to grow back." Then Bone Fett came and arrested him.

_**Feather**_

Feather on the other hand didn't do too much better. She fell into a giant wooden/ metal bowl that was going down a conveyor belt. At the end was a molten rock dumper which would pour into the bowl once she reached it. In fact, the only reason she survived was because Gray2-D2 pressed a button which stopped the molten rock flow and dropped her bowl she was in onto the ground. Sadly, Geonosians flew in and cornered her. "Crap," she said as she was taken away.

_**Gray2-D2**_

Gray2-D2 was in a prickly situation. He was trying to decide whether to go for the bird guts filled with Klondike bars or save Feather. "Feather is important for the series." "Then again, I like birdie Klondike's." "Then again, the whole series will end if I don't save her." "Then again, I won't have to face the tortures of the first story." "Then again, I really need this job to pay off the one billion mice ThunderClan for destroying our camp." "Then again..., aw the hell with it..." He ran over, pressed the button and saved Feather, then got the bird guts Klondike bar. "In retrospect, I guess that would've been the first thing I should've done..." (He's the only one who wasn't captured or C3Fire0's case, switched with a battle droid.)

_**C3Fire0**_

C3Fire0 walked along the aisles of the hall way. "Okay..." he said to himself. "I am not going out there." Then a Super Duper Battle Droid appeared. "You must be a new recruit for our droid army," the villainous robot suspected. "Um... no..." replied C3Fire0. "I'm C3Fire0, I'm owned by Hawkakin Skywalker, Lion-wan Kenobi, and Feather Amidala." "Sure you are... that's what all the new recruits say. Now come on." The super duper battle droid grabbed C3Fire0 and dragged him into the army of endless battle droid cats.

-Now you know what happened to each character. Now for an exciting arena showdown of death! Read the next part.-

Part 7: Arena of Death

Hawkakin and Feather were handcuffed in a cart and were being carried to the arena of death. "This is all, your fault." Feather said blaming Hawkakin. "No way, it was your fault!" He retorted. "No, it was all, of your fault!" "No, it was all, of your fault!" "No, it was all, of your fault!" "No, it was all, of your fault!" "No, it was all, of your fault!" "No, it was all, of your fault!" "No, it was all, of your fault!" "No, it was all, of your fault!" "No, it was all, of your fault!" "Hey, you wanna make out?" asked Hawkakin. "Sure." Feather replied. But as they began making out, they entered the arena. All of the Geonosians said, "EW!"

"Oh... I bet you'll all never get girlfriends and or boyfriends!" Hawkakin retorted. The two were chained up to a giant flag pole like Lion-wan was next to them. "So... tried to rescue me, huh?" asked Lion-wan. "Yep," replied Hawkakin. "So uh... how's that plan going?" snorted Lion-wan in a half sarcastic tone. "Oh, you know... horrible..." replied Hawkakin. A giant dog, a more giant bull, and an extra giant grasshopper entered the arena as well. They all looked like Sandstorm. "Why am I always something ugly?" asked all three creatures. "Shut up and kill them!" yelled a wrangler.

The three Sandstorm parodied beasts charged at the three chained up. "Do you really expect three Sandstorm parodied monsters to kill us?" asked Feather in a sarcastic tone. "No!" yelled White Dooku from the stands. "I expect them to tire you out so Bone Fett here can shoot you." "I hate you all," Bone commented. The three managed to get free from there chains and kill all of their Sandstorm beasts. "Okay..." Dooku said. "Shoot them..." But out from the shadows stepped a cat who appeared to be another Jedi. He was a darkish color. He shot out his purple claw. "Mace Jay, it's a pleasure for you to join us." Dooku commented.

"Not for long," Jay replied. Shak-Holly and Kit Lionblaze appeared beside him. "Is this really all of the back up you've brought?" asked White Dooku. Then an endless storm of battle droid cats (and C3Fire0) marched into the arena. "For the last freaking time," C3Fire0 yelled in frenzy. "I'm not a god damn battle droid!" "Well..." said Mace Jay in a quieted tone. "We're screwed." He and the others hopped into the arena anyways. So it was about 6 to 1,000,000. That seems fair. Because every Jedi can take a hundred battle droids at once... I think...

So after about three hours of battling, about only 600 droids were killed; damn it! I thought I had this math thing down! Damn... Oh well, so those six were left standing in the arena. Up in the stands was Gray2-D2. "Man, this is better then Star Trek. Hopeless battles own anything that fits into the entertainment category." So after that, something completely random happened. Gun-ships with Master Crowda leading them swarmed around the Jedi and destroyed all the battle droids. "I can't believe I'm alive!" shouted Bone Fett in joy. The master Jay cut off his head. "No!" screamed Darka in agony. "Okay, we can leave now," said Crowda. The Jedi boarded the ships.

Part 8: Six Flags and Bombs

"Okay," said a she-cat on board the Gun-ship. "Please fasten your rope seat belts and pray they stay on tightly. This ship is powered by Six Flags Grand Adventure. Six Flags is not responsible for loss of shoes, personal items, clothing, mental wellbeing, blood, internal organs, spine, other bones, children, family members, and your life. Please enjoy your ride on the Six Flags Gun-ship." "That's what they say on Kingda-ka." Hawkakin whispered. – I just had to add the theme park joke. I'd been planning that since Episode VI in the first story. But I never had the right place to use it. –

They rickety rocketed through the sky, dodging bombs, grenades, warships, battle droids, de-clawed cat claws, and many other items. It would be a great ride for Carowinds or Six Flags. They flew farther and farther and farther and farther and farther and farther. Finally they caught up with Dooku's speeder. White was dodging all of the attacks. Finally he shot the ship and Feather fell out. "Once again," said the she-cat coming out. "Six Flags is not responsible for loss of life, blood, spine, or internal organs. If she's dead, it's not our problem." – I did not mean any offense to Six Flags. There park is safe and honestly, if I lived in New Jersey, I'd go everyday. No, I mean it. Every freaking day! –

On the other hand, Crowda was busy blowing up people's property. He shot bombs on Separatist fleets of airships and was having a blast doing it. That was until they were all destroyed. "Fire more rockets." Crowda ordered. "That's all we had to shoot." The Copycat replied. "We're officially out of stuff to destroy." "But I wanna destroy st-u-uuuuffffff!" complained Crowda. "What should we shoot then?" questioned the Copycat general. Crowda searched the ground for a moment. "Fire at that place where kits play," Crowda ordered. The giant airship released an atomic bomb.

The kits down at the bottom were playing tag. "Hey," said a kit looking up at the sky. "A bomb in the sky," the kit commented. He ran over to the escape pod. "It'll be a tight squeeze, but we'll all f..." He turned around to see the playground abandoned and the escape gone, with only rocket marks in its place. "I hate you all!" the little kit called. Then the bomb hit...

"So... Crowda..." said the Copycat. "How yah gonna explain the fact you killed a kit to the Jedi Council?" "I won't have to." He replied. "And I hope you don't have to either..." he continued igniting his claw saber. "Huh..." the Copycat sighed. "Fine; I won't tell." "Oh really?" replied Crowda in a relieved tone. "Well... now I don't have to pay you two million dollars in bail money." The Copycat was shocked. "Wait!" he shouted. "I will tell! Please! Give me the freaking bail money!" But Crowda had already left the ship and was on his way on to more important matters which had much more meaning than a Copycat.

Part 9: It's Battle Time!

The Gun-ship landed and the two Jedi got off. Just as Hawkakin and Lion-wan exited, it blew up. "Oh my god!" shouted Lion-wan. "We were just on that... like, one second ago." "I know," said Hawkakin. "But seriously? Why are you worried? We're main characters." "Yah..." replied Lion-wan in a sassy tone. "Thorn-Jinn, was a main character too. And what happened to him?" "Point taken," said Hawkakin. "But come on. What're the odds we die in the middle of the series?" "Honestly... not high. But come on... How many main characters die in the whole Star Wars saga?" "I'm beginning to hate you."

The two ran into the lair where they saw White Dooku about to board an escape shuttle. "Look at him!" taunted Hawkakin. "He's trying to run away. Only babies run away!" An axe then flew by and almost killed Hawkakin. "Ah!" he yelled. "Run away!" he said and ran in a continuous circle. "Okay... you know what?" Lion-wan protested. "You can do whatever the hell you want... okay... I'm already angry I'm gonna have put up with this crap from Bramble, but I can't take it from you too!" "Does this mean I'm a full Jedi?" asked Hawkakin.

As there conversation ended, White Dooku ran up and made a small cut in Lion-wan's arm and leg. Lion-wan doubled over in pain and began crying. "Oh my god; It hurts!" he cried. "You serious?" asked Hawkakin. "How are you in pain?" "I need a band-aid, or a cobweb. Or whatever the hell will patch up these damn cuts!" "Screw you; I'm going to fight White Dooku by myself!" **5 Minutes Later... **Hawkakin was lying on the ground with his from left paw missing. "How's that working for yah?" asked Lion-wan, still in pain. "Screw you!" called Hawkakin in pain.

Then, in that moment, Crowda came in. "Oh look, it's the eight-hundred seventy year old man!" called Count Dooku. "In my cat species, that's like, twenty." Crowda replied. "And in your cat species, you're almost damn near sixty." "Shut the hell up!" said White, lunging at Master Crowda. **5 Minutes Later... **White Dooku was doubled over in pain on the floor; crying for mercy. "You really though you could beat me?" Crowda questioned. "My title is... _Master... _Crowda..." "Hey master Crowda," called White Dooku. "Is that an elephant riding a captain bob limited edition cat action figure reading the warriors special edition?" "Where, where; tell me!" White Dooku escaped thanks to that.

Part 10: One Hell of a Marriage

Somehow a month had gone by, and by only being nineteen, Hawkakin was somehow allowed to marry. At the wedding ceremony, there was the hooker, his (, or now the hookers,) Mew, Gray2-D2, and C3Fire0. "Man..." said Gray2-D2. "I can't believe they're getting married. Honestly, at most, this marriage, will last 5 years." "Who cares," replied C3Fire0. "Now give me the rice." "You mean that was the stuff we were gonna throw at them? Whoops! Oh well, let's just throw this rock at them instead like in Charlie Brown." "Works for me," replied C3Fire0.

"Feather Amidala, do you take Hawkakin Skywalker to be your lovely wedded husband?" asked the Rabbi. "That's what it says in the script." Feather retorted. "And do you, Hawkakin Skywalker, take Feather Amidala to be you lovely wedded wife?" "I really don't have a choice here." He responded. "Then I now pronounce you tom and she-cat. You may now make out." As they began to make out, Gray2-D2 threw a rock and knocked out Hawkakin. "Yes!" cried Feather. "I can do whatever I want to him now!"

Credits

Cast:

(Actor – Character)

Bone – Jango Fett

Firestar – C3P0

Graystripe – R2-D2

Crowfeather – Crowda

Lionblaze – Kit Fisto

Hollyleaf – Shak-ti

Jayfeather – Mace Windu

Whitestorm – Count Dooku

Feathertail – Padme Amidala

Lionheart – Obi-wan Kenobi

Hawkfrost – Anakin Skywalker

Sandstorm – The Three Beasts

Darkstripe – Boba Fett

Tigerstar – Chancellor Palpatine/ Darth Sidious

Onestar – One2-D2

Scourge – Viceroy Nute Gunray

Storm troopers and Rebels and Random People – Kittypets, Rouges, and Clan cats

Director – Snowwhistle

Writer – Snowwhistle

Concept – Snowwhistle

Special thanks to everyone who reads this and Warriors Cats'

In July or August, an all new addition to the Star Warriors Trilogy; the last in the saga; but hey, it's brand new! So anyway, get ready for Star Warriors III, The Sith are back Baby! Sneak Preview: ~ Lion-wan raised his claw saber and looked at Ravenous. "Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately?" he asked. "Shut up!" General Ravenous cried. He spun his four claw sabers in a frenzy that went everywhere. "How is that fair?" Lion-wan yelled. So instead of attacking with his claw saber, he used the fresh kill and forced Ravenous to the roof, making his claw sabers break off. "And how the hell was that fair?" question Ravenous. ~ Coming to a computer screen on near you!


	3. Star Warriors III

**Here we go again... Sorry for another wait, gotta get my other story up, plus I've been gone for awhile. So now it's time for the next edition of my story to begin. The series will end here because George Lucas has decided he's too much of a goody, goody two shoes to make another episode. Does he know how many Star Wars fans he disappointed for not making an episode VII? A lot of fans! So you know what! I won't make another trilogy in protest. P.S. I love Mrs. Milkshakes munched mole masher monkey cake. Alliteration! Oh, also; if anyone notices the references in some of the Part's titles, they get virtual cake... or not... Maybe...**

Star Warriors, the Original Trilogy

Star Warriors III

The Sith are back, Baby!

As the stars shined bright over Coruscant, the era of peace ruled... wait? You mean a wars going on? When the hell did a war start? Six years ago, the Jedi were keeping the peace and now I'm being told that a war which probably didn't happen started! I hate this story! Well okay then... Anyways, the Chancellor, Tigerstar was kidnapped by the evil General Ravenous and was taken hostage inside a space station. So now two random Jedi (we all know who they are) are going off to save the Chancellor from certain peril... Sadly it's not that easy, they have to go into space and dodge some kick ass lasers and pretty damn cool fighters! I hope they had a big breakfast, because they were gonna throw it up. In conclusion, I present to you, the audience; the final chapter of the Star Warriors saga...!

Part 1: Flying... It's not Easy

Through space shot two random fighters. "Hello," said Hawkakin, now a full Jedi, from inside his spaceship. "This is Pwner52Jedikat23 hollering out to Lion-wan." "Hawkakin," groaned Lion-wan. "Can I just use your real name?" "No!" He retaliated. "As of becoming a full Jedi I presume that I deserve a cool internet name which can only be accessed by non-nubs." "Okay then..." Lion-wan said. "This is Lion-wan to Pwner52Jedikat23, we are reaching destination and we are going after the Chancellor at top velocity in point o' two speed kilometers."

The two ships sped through space when all of the sudden, they saw a McDonalds. They stopped at the drive-through and Lion-wan said, "I'd enjoy a fried heart attack with a side of diabetes with a tall glass of Stroke." "And as for me," began Hawkakin. "I'll have I'll have a blood-clot with extra obesity and a small kidney failure." "That'll be seven, ninety five." The cat in the drive through window told them. The two stopped their fighters and ate their really bad lunch. (I have nothing against the McDonald's Corporation. They own so much more than me.)

So anyway, after they finished their lunch, they restarted their ships and flew off towards Canada; I mean... uh... the battlefield! That's what I said... yah... the battlefield. They started shooting at random objects in the sky. By the time they had flown half of the battlefield, they'd only shot ten things. Eight of them were cats on their side, one was the 'where's Waldo' guy, and the last one was a cat, the cat was a weird cat, but a cat all the same. Hawkakin was having a blast at the time, and Lion-wan had trouble with Bee Droids.

"Do you need help?" asked Hawkakin. "No!" yelped Lion-wan. "I'm fine!" "Are yah sure?" "Yes!" "Um... they just sawed off One2-D2's head..." As One2's head went flying, it shouted, "Damn you comic irony!" "Haw, haw!" Gray2-D2 shouted. "I don't need help!" yelled Lion-wan. "I'm a master, and masters' don't need any help!" Then one of his engines caught fire as a bee droid stung a wire. "Okay!" shouted Lion-wan. "I need help! I DON'T WANNA DIE! I'M STILL A VIRGIN! I WANNA LIVE TO SEE MYSELF HAVE A WIFE AND KITS!" Hawkakin smiled and shot off the bee droids and the Lion-wan began grumbling to himself.

The two raced for the Hanger bay where they immediately began slashing up battle droid cats. It was a crazy injustice. Things were slashed Gray2-D2 looked at the remains of the record, he went berserk on Hawkakin. "Why the hell would you destroy a Beatles album you sh*t headed crazy bitch headed monkey f*ck!" Hawkakin just stared at him. "Okay, moving on," he said with awkwardness in his voice. Lion-wan walked toward the door. "So, which way do we go now?" asked Lion-wan. "Let's take the elevator," replied Hawkakin. And so out heroes took the less active way of climbing the stairs.

I know that last chapter had nothing to do with this story, but it fit, so I used it. And by the way, anyone out there who's done something like that to a signed Beatle album, then you're a sh*t headed crazy bitch headed monkey f*ck, too! Well, unless you're a former president.

Part 2: White Dooku and the Seven Escape Pods

Finally; the two Jedi cats reached Chancellor Tigerstar. "I'm wondering why we're helping you, since you turn evil..." explained Lion-wan. "Flip that now," Tigerstar yowled. "White Dooku!" and then an old and white cat walked toward the stairwell and jumped down. "You two can't beat him," insisted Tigerstar. "He's a Sith Lord with all the rings and mouse filled Klondike." "You think this prick is going to beat us?" asked Lion-wan. "Well he's not!" "You two will die," White Dooku told them. The three ignited their claw swords and began to duel.

"Time for the power of pwnage to be unleashed!" yowled Lion-wan. "AH!" **5 seconds later... **"How did that happen?" asked Hawkakin. "Well," replied White Dooku. "Using my pwnage powers, I knocked out Lion-wan." Lion-wan lay still on the floor. "Well..." thought Hawkakin. "You'll never beat me!" **5 seconds later... **"Wait," said White Dooku as he lay with his hands cut off and two claw sabers next to his neck. "Well," replied Hawkakin. "I used my veto power to completely kick your ass and now I'm gonna chop your head off." "What?" Hawkakin cut his head off.

Then the three went to the magic elevator of DOOM! ... Don't know why it was called the magic elevator of DOOM! ... It just was. So the three took the magic elevator of DOOM! ... And went to the room where General Ravenous hid. But he was guarded by like five robot guards. "You can't stop our destined win!" yelled Lion-wan. "No," Ravenous replied. "I can't, but I can escape on my seven escape pods." "Can I use one?" asked a battle droid robot innocently. "NO!" General Ravenous replied. "Find your own escape pods!" he launched and shot into the fathom which is space... Not much else to say about him.

"Well," said Hawkakin. "Since we're all gonna die, I'm hungry! Who wants candy?" "Shouldn't we focus on surviving?" asked Chancellor Tigerstar. "Why the hell would we do that when we got Klondike's, mice, and Twinkies!" shouted Lion-wan. "All of which are mouse filled..." "FREAKING; YES!" Tigerstar shouted as he saw the banquet. They immediately began gorging on the glorious food, even though they probably should've been steering the ship. The ship hurtled toward the planet at a tremendous speed in a dead on collision with the planet, thankfully, the planet wasn't destroyed.

Then as the three walked out, Mace Jay walked toward them. "The hell was that?" he questioned them. "You three should've made an attempt to land the ship! Why didn't you!" "Shut up!" cried Tigerstar drunkenly. "You no know nothing! About anything; or everything..." "What?" asked Mace Jay, confused...? "What he meant to say," began Lion-wan. "Was... um... it was HIS FAULT!" Hawkakin Skywalker and Lion-wan Kenobi raced to the speeders and drove away.

Hawkakin raced to his apartment to see Senator Feather Amidala. "Senator," Hawkakin said. "I'm so glad we could see each other again." "Where have you been for six and half months?" she asked him. "I've been places, doing stuff... Whelp... Jedi stuff... you know, for the Jedi's to do." She glared at him angrily. "So uh... I can see you gained weight." "Well..." she said. "It's not weight I gained. It's a bundle of joy and happiness." "Excuse me, what?" "It's something you'll love." "You made cake!" "No I'm pregnant..." Hawkakin passed out on the floor.

Part 3: Crowda and the Wookie Cats

Crowda was flying on a ship with clones. They were flying on a ship to the forest planet of Kashykk, or Kashik, or Kasheek, um... I can't spell it... So anyway, Crowda flew down to the planet and landed next to the Wookie settlement. "So um..." mumbled Crowda; "Why do the Separatists want to kill you?" Crowda asked. "Gurgle!" yowled Dustbacca. "Because we're getting way... too advanced; gurgle! They said that if we learned how to use the toaster, they'd destroy all..." "You guys are really pathetic." Crowda told them. "Why! We on Coruscant have almost grasped the concept of the wheel! Yah... a wheel..."

"Wait a second!" cried Crowda. "You're Dustbacca; right?" "Yep," Dustbacca replied. "Sure am." "Then how the hell are you in the prequel series!" "I'm in episodes III, IV, V, and VI." "You were part of the original trilogy! You can't be in episode III!" "So! You were in I, II, III, V, and VI!" "Well still! Why would you be in III?" "It explains why I'm the last of my kind." "When does it say you're the last of you're kind!" "Have you read the Star Wars books?" "Who gives a damn? Our author hasn't read the Star Wars books!" "It's a comical reference." "Who gives a damn?" "I do!" "Well then how did you get to Tatooine?" "Han Solo; Duh!" "How'd you meet Han Solo?" "Once again, this is why they make books!" "No one cares about the extra books!" "I do!" "Well then your mom sucks!" "What does that even mean!" **Three Pointless Hours of Fighting Later...**

After the three hours of fighting had been resolved, it was off to battle for the Wookies. They readied tanks, got in their armor, and then they practiced ripping people's arms off. "I can see why the Separatists want to destroy you all." Crowda explained. "Wookie shouldn't be smart or eat their cookies with a Fookie." "Do you know how much that sounded like f*ck?" asked Dustbacca. "No..." Crowda "No I don't... But I'd love for you to explain it to me." Then all of the sudden in the distance towered a bunch of water vehicles. They were she-cats in bikinis on wet skis. But behind them raged an army of droids on water vehicles.

"Destroy the droids!" cried Dustbacca. "And capture the she-cats who we can 'have fun' with! GURGLE!" "Yah!" the crowd of Wookies bellowed. They ran at full speed toward the she-cats and stripped them and threw them in cages. "We'll enjoy you girls later." Dustbacca promised. Then they ran at full speed toward the droids and began smashing and bashing and dashing and doing stuff to them! Then Wookies were shot and people were getting hurt. Some of the Wookies retreated. Not in fear... but that they were tired of fighting and wanted to 'have some fun' with the she-cats they claimed.

"Master Crowda!" Dustbacca yowled. "Come and fight with us!" "Nah," Crowda replied. "I'm gonna go 'mess with those girls.'" "Hey! We said I could do that first!" "No! I do the sexual harassment first!" "Since when does Master Yoda have a sex life?" "He always had one!" "Yah! Maybe... but you never bothered to read the books!" "Why the hell would I?" "It's entertaining!" "That's why we have TV!" "TV is bull crap!" "You're bull crap!" And there the two stood, in the middle of a battlefield. Arguing while lasers flew all around them. Not caring whether they were shot, but caring about who'd win the fight.

Part 4: General Ravenous, not a Mainstream Villain

Lion-wan had been sent to the planet of... actually, I forgot the name. It's only mentioned like... once... in the whole trilogy... And mean... the whole trilogy. Books, cartoons, movies; the whole nine yards. (That's what my dad said, and... it actually makes sense!) Well anyways, Lion-wan had a new droid and him and his new droid flew down to the planet. "Alright, time to pwn General Ravenous!" (~ Pwn – (P-ohn-N): 1. kicking someone's ass 2. to win an inevitable battle 3. to be super awesome ~) Lion-wan ran up on a lizard and stopped behind General Ravenous.

"Hello, evil!" Lion-wan shouted. No one seemed to notice. "Hello," he asked. "Anyone? Come on you asses! I'm right here! I'm a Jedi! You know... part of the Republic of Cats...; bent on destroying the Separatists! Come on! I'm right freaking here! Notice me! Come on... I'll be you're best friend! General Ravenous! It's you're arch enemy! The good guy! God damn it! How the hell can you not see me? I'm right damn here! You don't need glasses! OH MY GOD, NOTICE ME YOU GOD DAMN LUNATICS! ... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'M GONNA KILL YOU ALL!"

"What?" General Ravenous said as he looked backwards. "Oh... sorry Lion-wan. I didn't see yah there!" Lion-wan ignited his claw saber in a demonic rage. Lion-wan raised his claw saber and looked at Ravenous. "Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately?" he asked. "Shut up!" General Ravenous cried. He spun his four claw sabers in a frenzy that went everywhere. "How is that fair?" Lion-wan yelled. So instead of attacking with his claw saber, he used the fresh kill and forced Ravenous to the roof, making his claw sabers break off. "And how the hell was that fair?" question Ravenous.

Lion-wan ran at full at him. Then General Ravenous cut off his claw saber and threw him over the edge. Luckily he landed in a patch of cat nip and weed transfusions which broke his fall. He stuffed some in his mouth and said, "Oh... god... I'm high..." He then ran off as General Ravenous chased after him. They ran through a field of candy, a herd of mice and birds, and a forest of beautiful she-cats. But I'm cutting out those parts because it was so... funny! "What the f*ck!" cried General Ravenous! "GO CRAWL IN A HOLE AND DIE!" Moving on...

They then each hopped onto a speed which they then began slap fighting each other on. They punched each other left and right, up and down, in and out, mix and match, hot and cold, this and that, right and wrong, both and neither, yes and no, alive and dead, perfect and screw up, existent and nonexistent, pure and impure, big and small, calm and crazy, weird and normal, cat and mouse, tom and jerry, Barrack Obama and , real and fake, Smosh and Fred, fat and thin, USA and Hitler, positive and negative, cartoons and reality TV, Zach and Cody (suite life), flying and burrowing, heaven and hell, and a bunch of other stuff I won't get into.

Anyways, the two were flung off their motorcycle and landed right on a rock. This rock was surrounded by bombs and it was above a bunch of up facing knifes. Actually, who the hell puts knifes up right? So, all that Lion-wan could use was a gun. Lion-wan carefully aimed and shot. He hit a target dead smack on the bulls-eye. He shot again. He hit Hitler. People across Europe cheered. He shot again. He hit the USA... on the world map. He shot one last time. He hit Ravenous in his heart. "What the fu..." BOOOOM! All that remained were ashes, and a memorial service. What a sad, sad, sad day... for Ravenous anyways... "Can I go now?" asked Lion-wan. "Sure," replied a friendly copycat who gladly let him leave the mourning service.

Part 5: Hawkakin, Good or Evil?

Mace Jay and two other random cat extras popped out of nowhere. They held claw sabers and pointed them dead at the Chancellor. "You're under arrest!" yelled Mace Jay. Tigerstar stood there in awe. "Did you really just figure out that I was a Sith Lord?" "Um..." Jay stammered. "No... Why would think that?" "Oh," replied Tigerstar. "No reason... dumbass." "What'd you call me?" bellowed Mace Jay. Chancellor Tigerstar replied. "A dumbass, why? You gonna stab me with your pretty purple claw saber?" "It enhances my uniqueness!" cried Jay. Tigerstar smirked. "Sure it does. It show's you love girl crap."

After that a fierce Jedi battle raged. It slashed and dashed and with in the first three seconds the two cat extras were dead. "Fred!" Jay yelled. "Perry Winkle of Blues Clues! You're gonna pay fatass Albert!" They slashed and dashed and pashed in a fury of colorful explosions which _ _ _ soup _ _ _ _ _ _ _ dingo _! _ in a place where no one can hear you _ _ kitten _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ cupcake _ _ _!

When that terrific scene which I just explained ended, the climax of the story began. Hawkakin burst in just as Mace Jay was about to kill him. "What the hell are you doing!" yelled Hawkakin. "I'm ending Tigerstar's terror right now!" Mace Jay yelled. "He's dangerous and you know it!" "No he's not! He's a sweet old tom." "He's ball-less!" "Just check him and you'll find he has balls." "What are you...? Oh... he does..." "You can't just kill him, it's against everything StarClan taught us!" "He dies now!" "NO!" Hawkakin then slashed his arm off. When this occurred, Mace Jay was thrown out the window by Tigerstar.

"What have I done," Hawkakin asked himself. "You've done your destiny," replied Tigerstar. "Join me and we'll rule the galaxy!" "Why would I join you?" asked Hawkakin. "I'll throw in a cat nip and weed transfusion," Tigerstar persuaded. Hawkakin shook his head. "Okay then," he continued. "That and a trip to Hawaii." Hawkakin shook his head again. "A mouse filled Klondike bar." Hawkakin still shook his head. "All that and a mouse filled Twinkie; plus, you get a new name!" "Eh..." Hawkakin said. "For all that, sure, why not." "Perfect!" Darth Tigerstar shouted. "You shall be known as Hawk Vader..."

Part 6: Death to the Jedi!

As Mace Jay's body fell from the heavens, it landed right next to Ki-I-Mudclaw. "What was that about?" asked Ki-I-Mudclaw. Then a bunch of copycats ran up to him. A hologram of Darth Tigerstar flashed up on a communicator. 'Kill all the Jedi and you get a mouse filled Twinkie.' The message flickered and died. "Come on guys..." Ki-I-Mudclaw stuttered. "You're not gonna listen to a recording." They loaded their guns. "Guys... who wants a nice fresh birdie." They cocked their guns. "Don't do it. I'll use the power of the freshkill!" They pointed their guns at Ki-I-Mudclaw. "I hate you all!" They shot him.

On the planet of Do-do-do; a beautiful Jedi cat named Shak Holly strode through the lush forests. Behind her were about ten thousand copycats. "Come on guys, who wants a piece of me?" asked Shak Holly. The copycats all raised their hands. But then one of them received a message from Darth Tigerstar. 'I need you to kill that hot bitch.' "But she's smoking hot!" replied the copycat. 'Do it now!' "Can't I do it with her first?" 'No, she's a Jedi cat and must die now!' "Well can I play with her dead body when she's dead?" 'Sure, as long you kill her right now!' "Okay!" He shot her and then got into position for 'having fun with her.'

Kit Lionblaze was making out with a she-cat in the she-cat's restroom. Then all of the sudden a bunch of copycats walked up to the restroom. "How the hell do we get in?" asked one of the copycats. "It's easy," said another. "We just go in." "But that'd be rude... she-cats piss in there." "So... we see a she-cat pissing, we go, 'whistle, whistle.'" "I don't wanna see a she-cat pissing." "Let's just barge in, damn it!" The copycats ran in and Kit Lionblaze looked at them. "Hi guys," he said, then was shot. "You guys wanna kiss me?" asked the cat. But it was Sandstorm! The copycats ran outta there screaming. "I hate this story!" Sandstorm yelled. "I'm all the unappealing characters!"

Meanwhile on the planet whose name sounds like (ka-sh-eek) and I can't spell it; Crowda was sitting on the deck, talking about internet porn when two of the copycats had received an incoming message. 'Kill master Crowda, and his Wookie friend too!' "Yes sir," said the copycat on the left. "He's an ass anyways!" As they aimed their guns at Crowda, Crowda jumped up and cut their heads off. "Why the hell would these bitched up cats try and kill me?" "I don't know," replied Dustbacca. "Gurgle! It probably has something to do with you telling racist jokes." "Please... My racist copycat jokes are number one in the newspaper!" The two then fled the agonizing scene.

Lion-wan hid behind a pole. "Should we try and kill Lion-wan?" asked a copycat. "Sir, he's probably already dead." Another copycat responded. The copycats got to their ships and left. "Why would they kill me?" thought Lion-wan. "Maybe it was because I took the last mouse filled Klondike... nah..." He got into his ship and flew off. He decided to head for Coruscant, most likely what Earth will be in ten thousand years. "What the hell!" he said as he reached the planet only to find that thousands of Jedi were dying because of the copycats.

Hawkakin entered the master room only to find three moon old Jedi cat apprentices hiding behind the chairs. "Mas-er Skywaker, ther too many of dem. Wat we do?" asked one of them. Hawkakin ignited his claw saber and pointed it at the three moon old kits in training. "You will not become Jedi cats, like Erin Hunter will not continue after the forth Warriors' series." He began slashing at the toddler kits and killed them all. He did not spare anyone, not even the really cute one named little fishy-kins. "I don't wanna die!" little fishy-kins exclaimed, but Hawkakin showed no mercy and clawed him to death, no one lived but Hawkakin.

Part 7: The Separation of the Separatists

Hawkakin and Gray2-D2 flew to the volcanic planet of Mustafar where the Separatists had hidden themselves. Nute Scourge greeted the arriving Hawkakin. "Greeting Hawk Vader," said Nute Scourge. "It's an honor that our leader, Darth Tigerstar has blessed us with the timely arrival of meeting you." "I'm afraid I wasn't assigned to greet you," he said in a dark and forbidding tone. He ignited his claw saber and killed him. He walked inside and began to slice up all of the other Separatist leaders. He began destroying all of the remaining battle droid cats until there was nothing left. He'd destroyed all traces of the Separatists...

Hawkakin or as we'll now call him, Hawk Vader; turned on his communicator and logged into his master's caller ID. "Master, the separatists are dead." 'Excellent, now... the-person-whose-name-is-Hawk-Vader-and-will-fall-in-lava-and-be-placed-in-armor-and-have-wife-die-and-threaten-to-kill-his-own-son-and-daughter-twenty-years-from-now-says-what!' "Um... what; can you repeat that please?" 'It's nothing you'd need to worry about, now run along.' "Okay then... LA-LA-LA!" he cried as he skipped along the inside of the metal base.

Outside the base, Gray2-D2 stood firm and bored with nothing to do. "Why'd he have to drag me on his evil mission?" wondered Gray2-D2. He scanned the rocks and sea of lava, but nothing was interesting. Then an entertaining opportunity came his way. He saw a Separatist who'd managed to escape run away from the base onto a piece of drifting rock, going nearer and nearer a waterfall of lava which made the Separatist scream and become queasy and nauseous. He kept saying, "Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin. Can't die, still a virgin."

Gray2-D2 flew over to the rock and began to talk to the worried Separatist cat. "Hey dude, how yah doing? Are you still doing evil stuff? I bet you are. So anyways, I hope that you feel okay knowing that all the other people of your alliance are dead, but if you're no I understand and I'm here for you to comfort you and hold you and hug you if you need a hug. So how're you doing? You never answered that question and shouldn't cats your age have mated by now, I mean... how are you still a virgin. Oh god... the lava river ending! Here comes the waterfall of lava into a lava sea! This is bad... Luckily I can fly. Can you fly? I bet you can. Whelp, see yah." The droid flew away leaving the Separatist for dead.

Sorry if those last two paragraphs had nothing in relation to the movie, but I felt this part wouldn't be long enough without it. It's kind of like a filler arc in animes. It's a bunch of random episodes never used in the manga, but used in the anime series to lengthen it and give a longer running time and extra air dates to make the viewers happier. So I hope you enjoy the two comedic battles which will take place in the next two parts. Don't you just love it when things like this work out? I'm trying to add as many Warriors' references and bad puns and jokes as I can, but it gets really hard when you've already done five episode of it. Sorry if the last parts were kind of serious.

Part 8: Crowda vs. Tigerstar, not the Final Showdown

Crowda walked into the room where two royal guards were standing. Tigerstar turned around in his chair. "Master Crowda," Tigerstar said. "You survived my invasion." "Are you surprised?" Crowda asked. "No..." Tigerstar argued. "So anyway, I'm so... sorry you army of Jedi cats are now extinct!" "No..." Crowda told him. "It is not over..." The two royal guards then rushed toward him. Crowda back flipped over the guards and forced one of them to the ground. "Hey!" yelled the other royal guard. "He and I were going to the gay cat dance tomorrow. Now who'll be my date to the gay cat dance?" Crowda cut his throat open.

"Sorry Tigerstar," Crowda told him. "But you know in the end good will always triumph." "Okay sure," Tigerstar replied. "But I got a good twenty-two years of preparation for that. I won't lose in twenty-two years." "Um..." Crowda mumbled. "Yah, you kinda... will. Sorry I had to spoil the first story like that." Tigerstar then forced Crowda into the wall. Crowda hit his head against the wall and fell towards the ground. "Good will never has triumphed over evil and it never will!" Crowda slowly sat up and ignited his claw saber. "Then duel me..." Crowda told him. "And let's see the outcome." Tigerstar lit his claw saber.

The two clashed claws and began to fight over the Chancellor Office. They smashed windows, paintings, glass furniture, and even an extremely rare vase which was worth more than a cure for diabetes. They toppled over each other onto a chair which slowly rose up into the 'Senate Debate Room.' The battle raged on and then Crowda flipped off his chair and landed on one of the senate booths. "Running away Master Crybaby!" yelled Tigerstar as he shot lightning from his hand. Crowda blocked it and shot it back. "That's called the boomerang effect, bitch!" Crowda yelled. Tigerstar fell onto one of the senate booths.

Tigerstar then used the freshkill to lift a senate booth and flung them at master Crowda. Crowda kept flipping away and land somewhere different. "Stop running away and fight!" yelled Tigerstar. He freshkilled more and more senate booths at him until finally Crowda threw one at him. Tigerstar ducked and jumped onto the main Chancellor chair. Crowda flipped onto the chair and the two continued to duel with their claw sabers. Each trying to slash the other's throat open. Tigerstar jumped up and tried to upper cut Crowda. It'd didn't work. Then Crowda's was flung from his finger and he was defenseless.

Crowda used the freshkill to push Tigerstar off the edge. Tigerstar was doing the exact same thing. Each one was using as much freshkill energy as they could, then finally they forced each other backwards. Crowda was flung right off the edge, but Tigerstar managed to get a grip on the side. Crowda sadly hit the ground, but he did manage to survive, but he'd lost his cape and his claw saber. He didn't search for them. He left and escaped. "I'm a failure..." he told himself. "Yes you are," Tigerstar yelled at him. "You're a god damn ass; you are!" Crowda walked outside and boarded the next ship for Dagobah.

Battle on Mustafar, the Final Showdown

Lion-wan walked into the room with Feather inside it. "Hello Feather," Lion-wan began. "We have some things to talk about." "Like how my babies name is going to be little sally walker, walking down the street." "Um... no..." Lion-wan said confused. "It's that Hawkakin is evil..." "He is not!" yelled Feather. "What proof do you have!" Lion-wan held up thirty photos to prove his point. "Those were forged!" She shouted. "If you don't believe me then come with me to Mustafar, you'll see the truth." Lion-wan's words hurt like scissors.

So Lion-wan, Feather, and C3Fire0 made the journey to Mustafar. "Why are you angry?" Lion-wan asked C3Fire0 on the way there. "This is my first appearance in the whole story..." C3Fire0 moaned. "I'll be lucky to get another line!" "No one cares about you," Lion-wan told him. "You were hardly used in episodes I, II, and III for a reason, we were tired of you from IV, V, VI." "Go to hell!" C3Fire0 retaliated. The ship landed and Feather rushed out to Hawkakin. "Stop being evil!" she commanded him. Hawkakin responded by choking Feather half to death. "Beep bop! Holy mother of crap," Gray2-D2 gasped. "Yep, he's sunk so low as to choke his own wife," C3Fire0 commented. "Who're you?" asked Gray2-D2. "Damn it!" yelled C3Fire0.

"Why the hell did you choke a she-cat?" cried Lion-wan. "She tried to make me do something," Hawkakin responded. Lion-wan became outraged. "You're heartless f*cker!" Hawkakin ignited his claw saber and held it up. Lion-wan ignited his and the two began slashing at each other. They began fighting inside the base, which was a really bad idea, because as mom's warn us, 'never play rough inside because one of you might hit a button which will sink the whole house in lava, in fact... why the hell did we build the house over lava?' Basically, that happened and the whole base began to sink into lava.

Lion-wan jumped onto a pipe line over lava and so did Hawkakin. The two swung at each other and frequently missed. They hit each other with mallets and swords and shish kabobs. Then they each jumped onto a tiny rock flowing down the same lava river we saw earlier leading to a lava fall. The two slashed and dashed at each other until Lion-wan jumped onto land. "It's over Hawkakin!" he called. Hawkakin jumped up and Lion-wan cut off one of his arms and both his legs. Hawkakin rolled down to the lava and caught fire. "Why the hell did yah turn evil? You my friend! Almost my brother! Why? You destroyed life as we know it..." "Go to hell!" yelled Hawkakin, still on fire.

Part 10: The End... of Comedy...

Feather died giving Birth to Bramble and Squirrelflight.

Bramble was taken to Tatooine while Squirrelflight was taken to Alderaan.

Lion-wan hid on Tatooine while Yoda fled to Dagobah.

Hawkakin was transformed into Hawk Vader as we know it.

Darth Tigerstar became known as Emperor Tigerstar.

C3Fire0 and Gray2-D2 were given a bigger role in my first story.

Dustbacca joined Storm Solo.

To learn more about what happened originally, go look at my first story, Star Warriors. You'll find it in the same place where you found this story...

Credits

Cast:

(Actor – Character)

Brambleclaw – Luke Skywalker

Squirrelflight – Princess Leia

Firestar – C3P0

Graystripe – R2-D2

Crowfeather – Crowda

Lionblaze – Kit Fisto

Hollyleaf – Shak-ti

Jayfeather – Mace Windu

Whitestorm – Count Dooku

Feathertail – Padme Amidala

Lionheart – Obi-wan Kenobi

Hawkfrost – Anakin Skywalker

Sandstorm – She-cat making out with Kit Lionblaze

Mudclaw – Ki-I-Di-Mundi

Tigerstar – Chancellor Palpatine/ Darth Sidious/ Emperor

Dustpelt – Chewbacca

Scourge – Viceroy Nute Gunray

Ravenpaw – General Grievous

Storm troopers and Rebels and Random People – Kittypets, Rouges, and Clan cats

Director – Snowwhistle

Writer – Snowwhistle

Concept – Snowwhistle

Special thanks to everyone who reads this and Warriors Cats'

_**The End...**_


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